Well, good ladies and gents, t’was the week before christmas. And not only is it time to close out the year, but we’re also tantalizingly close to the end of three weeks of festively frustrating fan theories.
All that remains is whatever nonsense Dave has prepared for this week, and we can all relax for a while. So, what are we looking at for out final entry in this years Fan-Mas?
Dave: I’ve found some very nice theories about The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Ah, I see… much like last week, this is a subject we’ve covered a few times before. So with that in mind, I actually am slightly worried about something here… but I’ll wait until I hear the theories.
Dave: So, the first theory is that Sally was an accused witch!
Aha. No.
Dave: What do you mean?
I mean no. Pick another theory.
Dave: Uhm… Fine. What if the appearance of people in Halloween Town are based on how they died?
Nope. Pick another.
Dave: What? But… OK, Jack Skellington is a reincarnated Jack Sparrow and–
No! Veto! Pick. Another!
Dave: Right, that’s it. You can’t just veto all these theories for no reason! That’s not fair!
Oh, you want a reason? Then I’ll give you a reason. Every single fan theory about this movie that in some way relates to the afterlife is invalid from the start, and we will not cover them anymore!
Dave: What?
All these theories are based on an assumption which we have come up against every single time we’ve covered theories about this movie, so let me riterate: Halloween Town is NOT the afterlife!
This means every single theory talking about what these characters were before they died is therefore based on a false premise! It’s based on the assumption that this is where people go when they die, when that is not the case in any way!
For one thing, if this is where everyone goes when they die, then how come there are so few people, given the MILLIONS that die each year?
For another, many of the residents in Halloween Town, like the werewolf or the witches or the lake monster or Doctor Finkelstein? They aren’t dead, unlike the vampires and the skeletons hanging from the talking tree!
This isn’t up for debate or discussion. The premise is false, therefore any theory based on it is false! It’s that simple!
So, again I ask: pick another theory. One that is NOT based on this false premise.
Dave: Hmm… Alright… Oh! I know! I’ve a theory that the inhabitants of Halloween Town embody different fears!
Alright, that’s better. In fact, I’d go so far as to call it interesting. Explain.
Dave: The opening song features various denizens of Halloween Time introducing themselves. Maybe this is meant as somewhat literal. After all, you have the classical fears of clowns or monsters under your bed.
OK. I’m with you so far.
Dave: Then you have Doctor Finkelstein, who is fear of aging. You have the Mayor, a two-faced character, who might represent our friends acting in an unexpected manner, or the fear of social anxiety. Sally could be disability or injury, given how isolated she is, and how she has to literally put herself together when she goes outside.
Right…
Dave: And of course, we have Jack, the Fear of Death, and Oogie Boogie, who is the fear of the unknown.
Aha… You know, this sounded like an interesting concept, but honestly? It’s kind of empty when you actually stop and look at it.
Dave: What? Why?
Well, for one thing… Do you have any actual proof for any of this? You have them introducing themselves as various scary things, but not really anything to suggest they embody different fears. You have vampires and werewolves, witches and ghosts… They all seem more like general scary things rather than some embodiment of a type of fear.
And then there’s the other examples you gave. Doctor Finkelstein as fear of aging? The only thing to point to that is that he’s old, but he doesn’t seem concerned with age, or cause it or focus on it in any way!
To me, it seems more likely that he’s just supposed to be a mad scientist, given the lab coat and the black leather gloves. And if that’s the case, you’d think he’d embody a fear of doctors, or given how he struggles to keep Sally under control, a fear of being alone. But fear of aging? I don’t buy it.
Then there’s the Mayor. Now, I don’t want to undercut or diminish the condition, but social anxiety isn’t really a ”fear” in the same way as, for example, a fear of ghosts.
And Sally REALLY doesn’t work, because she’s not actually all that isolated. In fact, she’s extremely outgoing, to the point where she regularly POISONS Dr. Finkelstein, the guy who made her, so she can go outside. She only had to ”put herself together” when going outside that one time because she was locked in a room, and had to jump out of a window!
In fact… if you say these characters ”represent different fears”… what does that actually MEAN? Because Finkelstein, Sally and the Mayor don’t really CAUSE the fear, in the same way that the One Hiding Under Your Bed seems to do.
Jack as the Fear of Death doesn’t really work either, because he doesn’t at any point seem to inspire mortal dread. He doesn’t show you corpses or ghosts or your own grave. He’s just a skeleton, that happens to be very good at scaring people. As for Oogie Boogie, the supposed ”Fear of the unknown”. But if that was the case, you’d think he’d be more… mysterious, rather than bombastic and larger-than-life.
All in all, this theory starts off looking quite interesting, but the more you look, the more it’s starting to come apart at the seams. And rather fittingly, I think the clincher for me has to do with literally-sewn-together Sally.
Dave: What do you mean?
I mean that it’s funny that you should use the introduction song as evidence… when Sally actually appears in that song! She’s ”the who when you call ‘who’s there”.
Except there’s nothing particular about her that brings that to mind. Nothing in her apperance or her demeanor points to anything like that, does it?
Dave: Uhm…
Which means that perhaps the introductory song is not meant to be taken literally at all! Again, you have based this entire thing on a shaky assumption! It’s just that this time, it’s a DIFFERENT shaky assumption!
Dave: Uh… OK, but I’ve got one more theory!
Hmm… Seeing as it’s the christmas season… Fine, one last theory.
Dave: Right! The last theory is that Oogie Boogie is a serial killer!
You know, I was kinda hoping this would be more… you know, christmas-y. But fine, explain.
Dave: Well, you ever notice how there are so few kids in Halloween Town? There’s only one kid with a parent, so maybe Oogie Boogie was cast out of town because he ate the other children!
…What?
Dave: And the reason Lock, Shock and Barrel work for him is out of fear that he might eat them. Maybe he ate their parents, and this is why they’re crazy?
Ah, and here I was actually worried. I thought we’d get another kind of meh theory, but you managed to salvage it.
Dave: You mean it makes sense?
No, I mean it’s not boring. But it’s still absolutely insane, for oh so many reasons.
Let’s start with the simple fact that… what evidence is there that he ate the kids?
Dave: Well… there are so few?
Sure, but that doesn’t necesarilly prove that he ATE any of them. It just proves that there aren’t that many kids. And given that there aren’t actually that many people in general in Halloween Town, that’s perhaps not terribly surprising.
But answer me this. Supposing he did eat the kids… WHY would he do that?
Dave: Maybe he was just hungry and they were easy prey? He does talk about eating Santa at one point, after all.
Well, he sings about it on the soundtrack, though that verse didn’t make it into the film proper. But if he hungers for living flesh, why then hasn’t he eaten Lock, Shock and Barrel by now?
Dave: Because they work for him, of course! Why would he eat his own henchmen?
Because he’s a cannibalistic killer who sees no problem eating children? And keep in mind, his three ”henchmen” aren’t exactly keeping him stocked with food. The one time they send him something that he eats, it’s a bug that they first boil until it’s completely scrawny and bony. Not exactly a gourmet feast, is it? You’d think this would be something that’d get him annoyed enough to just eat one of them, right?
Dave: Ah, but then they send him Santa Claus for him to eat! And he can’t get out, because he was locked in there by the townsfolk!
Right. But here’s where we get to the crux of this whole thing, and really where this idea doesn’t work.
So, Oogie devours some of the children in town, so as punishment, the townsfolk throw him out of town, and lock him in an underground lair.
Dave: Yeah!
And then, despite all this, they still let him take part of their Halloween celebration?
Dave: Wait, what?
In the introductory song, Oogie makes an appearance! He even gets to sing!
I am the shadow on the moon at night, filling your dreams to the brim with fright!
Now, I’m no expert, but if someone had eaten my kid, or the kids of people I knew… I wouldn’t invite them to the annual jamboree. That seems a bit odd, doesn’t it?
Dave: Uhm…
In fact, Oogie being locked up doesn’t make much sense either, in the grand scheme of things. After all, he tries to kill Santa and Sally, at which point Jack decides to rip his seams open. This in turn leads to his burlap body being torn off, revealing he’s made up of a mass of bugs that he’s eaten.
This is in itself kind of odd, since if he eats people… shouldn’t he be made up of bits of people rather than just bugs… anyway, it’s clear that he’s not invulnerable or invincible.
Seeing as everyone gets upset about Jacks apparent death, it seems to suggest people in Halloween Town can actually die, which in turn implies Oogie can also die…
So if Oogie Boogie ate most of the kids in town…. Don’t you think the townsfolk would have killed the everloving bugfuck out of him!?
For the love of god, this is how Freddy Krueger got started, and those parents burned him alive! Oogie is made of burlap and bugs!
Dave: Uh…
I mean, what is actually the goal here? Was Oogie just not unlikeable enough for trying to kill Santa, so you figured making him a child killer was the way to go?!
Or did you just confuse Oogie Boogie with the Beldam from Coraline, and figured since they both have a bug thing going on, they must therefore also eat kids?
What a way to end the three weeks of Fan-Mas, right? Not only did we get no theories with anything close to a christmas feeling, but we end on child murder and cannibalism. Somehow, I feel that’s the opposite of what this season is supposed to be about.
But at least it’s over now. So to celebrate, I’m gonna take a few weeks off from this blog, so I can rest.
Dave: Oh, so we’re not doing anything for next week?
Absolutely not. I promised you three weeks, and I gave you three weeks. I have one week left to recuperate and find my christmas spirit after all this, and unless you’d like me to roast your chestnuts on an open fire, you’ll leave me alone until then.
Devil in the Details 