Dave: Hey, I’ve found an interesting theory.
Is that so? Well, forgive if for not leaping for joy. Bad back, you know…
Dave: It’s funny you should make that reference, actually.
What? Oh no! No no no, don’t tell me it’s about The Lion King!
Dave: That’s right! The theory is that Mufasa and Scar aren’t brothers!
I’m sorry… I think I my ears stopped working for a moment. What was that, again?
Dave: Mufasa and Scar are not brothers.
Right. Mufasa and Scar are not brothers. I see… Mind if I ask you a personal question, Dave?
Dave: Sure, I guess?
Are you feeling alright?
Dave: What do you mean?
I mean, are you feeling alright? Things in your life are going well? You don’t feel a bit gloomy or depressed? No recent tragedy or heartbreak?
Dave: Uhm… no. No, everything’s fine. Why do you ask?
Well, I’ve told you before that The Lion King is my favourite movie of all time. I love it with a passion, and I make it a point to watch it only once a year. I do that, specifically so I don’t get sick of watching it, because it’s such a precious, important and valuable part of my childhood.
With that in mind, can you imagine why I might be a bit concerned about your mental well being?
Dave: Well, no, I’m not really following…
See, since you already know all that, and still decide to bring me a theory like this, I can only assume that you are performing some elaborate suicide attempt!
Dave: What? No, it isn’t!
Ok, so if that’s not the case, would you please explain why else would you do something so absolutely mindnumbingly insane, before I lose my selfcontrol and beat you to death with your own spine?!
Dave: It’s because this theory actually makes sense.
Now, I know that it won’t. But since I am actually curious how the hell it managed to convince you, I’ll humour you, Dave.
Dave: Well, there was an interview with the producer and director, where they discussed the possibility.
Right. And what did they say?
Dave: I have the quote right here.
[While making the movie] we talked about the fact that it was very likely [Scar and Mufasa] would not have both the same parents. The way lions operate in the wild…when the male lion gets old, another rogue lion comes and kills the head of the pride […]
Is that all?
Dave: No, it continues:
There was always this thing about well, how do you have these two [male] lions? Occasionally there are prides that do have two male lions, in an interesting dynamic because they’re not equals [since they don’t have the same parents]. One lion will always kind of be off in the shadows. We were trying to use those animal truths to underpin the story so we sort of figured Scar and Mufasa couldn’t really be from the same gene pool.
Ok, so let me get this straight… this whole theory is based on that interview?
Dave: Pretty much.
Ok, let’s start off with the fact that they are discussing the idea of using animal truths to underpin the story. They talk about how “in the wild” lions operate in this and that way. But there’s a slight issue with that idea.
Dave: What’s that?
In the wild, animals don’t fucking talk!
Keeping it accurate to real life kinda goes out the fucking window at that point! In the wild, there aren’t “lion brothers”. There are also no kings! When a lion gets born in the wild, a mandrill doesn’t come and hold it up for other animals to see! Lions don’t have birds as majordomos! If we’re bringing real life into this movie, THIS MOVIE WOULDN’T FUCKING EXIST!
And if Scar isn’t Mufasas brother, why do they refer to one another as brother? Why does Simba and Scar refer to one another as nephew and uncle? Zazu refers to Scar as “the kings brother”. He then notes that there’s one like Scar “in every family”.
Scar himself mentions the differences between them, that while he got the brains, he’s “in the shallow end of the gene pool” when it comes to strength. The detail about the gene pool line doesn’t make a whole lot of sense unless they are siblings!
Scar also states that were it not for Simba, he’d be “first in line” to the throne. In fact, it’s clear that Mufasa’s father was king before him, as shown during the scene where Simba and Mufasa look up at the stars.
In case it’s not really clear yet, that is called a line of succession. You know, that thing which DOESN’T FUCKING EXISTS AMONG LIONS IN REAL LIFE!?
It’s almost like real life doesn’t really apply here or something!
Not to mention, of course, that from a story perspective, they HAVE to be brothers! The movie is a loose adaptation of Hamlet, with Simba betrayed by his uncle, who murdered his father to claim the throne.
It’s also highly reminicent a story in egyption mythology, wherein Osiris is killed by his treacherous brother Seth, who in turn is defeated by Osiris’ son Horus.
The story REQUIRES them to be siblings.
Dave: But… Scar murdering his brother and attempting to murder his nephew is really sad.
Yes! Exactly! That is the fucking POINT!
Originally, they WEREN’T supposed to be brothers. Scar was just supposed to be a rogue lion.
But then the writers realized that it’d be much more interesting if they were brothers. It’s what makes the betrayal that much worse. The villain in this movie isn’t the grand vizier, or a “mistress of all evil” who can turn into a dragon.
It’s a member of the main characters FAMILY. A person ruthless enough to be willing to murder his own brother and nephew to seize the throne.
It’s what makes Scar that extra bit evil.
And it’s also what makes his defeat all that more satisfying. And the greatest part is, he isn’t killed by being stabbed by a magic sword or falling into lava or anything like that. Simba doesn’t kill Scar. He defeats him, but he’s not what gets Scar killed.
Scar dies as a result of trying to save his own neck, hoping to shift blame on his own allies, the hyenas. Then when he is defeated by Simba, they come back and kill him as revenge.
He becomes a victim of his own treacherous nature. Betrayal got him the throne, and betrayal then got him killed.
Dave: But… that quote…
That quote was to explain why there’d be two male lions. That’s a problem which doesn’t even exist, since it’s a fictional story anyway, and we can suspend disbelief to accept that! All this theory does is make the story less impressive.
And of course, if you just google Scar, you’d find out that Scars mother and father are called Ahadi and Uru. And wouldn’t you know it?
They’re also Mufasas parents.
But hey, it’s not like that’s easily available information that required all of 20 seconds of effort to find…
Oh, and there’s this final problem with it.
Let’s say that you are right. That we are going by real life lion rules. That would mean that all the female lions are Mufasas mates, right?
Dave: I suppose…
And logically, the father to all cubs?
Dave: Yes, he would be, but…
“Oh” is fucking right.
You have brought me a theory that suggests that, in my FAVOURITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME, the main character ends up having a kid with his fucking sister.
What is wrong with you, you sick, braindead moron!?
Dave: …Is this the point where you tell me to “run away and never return”?
No, this is the point where, if you don’t get out of my sight right now, I will shove your head up your ass. Now get out.
Dave: So you’re saying I’d “never see the light of another day”.