In Memoriam: Adam West

I have decided to postpone this weeks planned fan theory article. Instead, I’d like to say a few words about the recent loss of the legendary Adam West, and what he meant to me, personally.

It will come as no surprise to you that, being a big Batman fan, I am familiar with Adam Wests portrayal as the caped crusader. However, it may surprise you to know that, despite growing up in the 90’s, his portrayal was in fact the very first introduction I ever had of the character, in the form of the 1966 movie. I remember we had it on an old VHS tape that also contained recorded episodes of Tom & Jerry.

Obviously, I was very young at the time, and I won’t pretend that I understood anything of the plot beyomd “those are the good guys, the others are the bad guys”. But this meant that I grew up, being familiar with Batman. From there, I moved onto the 1989 movie (that is, when I was old enough to read subtitles) and the animated TV-Show.

It’s true, the Batman West presented wasn’t dark and gritty, it wasn’t necessarily deep or thought-provoking. It was campy and silly, but above all, it was fun. And at the heart of it was a man, playing something so absurd, in scenarios that were so ridiculous and insane, and played it perfectly seriously throughout. His portrayal sparked an interest and a love for the character that has continued to this day, and hopefully will continue for many, many years to come.

And for all that, he will forever have my thanks, my admiration and my respect.

Rest in peace, you marvel of a man.

West
1928-2017

Top 5: Sci-Fi Handguns

I’ve mentioned, time and time again, that I am a fan of science fiction. So today, instead of dissecting and nitpicking some sci-fi movie, I’d like to take this opportunity pay tribute to the creativity and style that this particular genre has produced over the years.

And since I also have a soft spot for good looking weapons, I figured we’d kill two mutated birds with one laser blast. With that in mind, I present to you:

Travis Tee’s Top 5 Sci-Fi Handguns

Now, before we begin the list proper, let me clarify a few things.

Firstly, while I will make arguments to support my choices, this is in no way an objective list. It’s all my personal opinions and preferences, and you are more than welcome to disagree.

Secondly, my criteria is practicality and appearance, rather than how iconic or powerful the weapons are, and how good or bad the user is.

So, let’s begin.

5: Deckards Gun (Blade Runner)
Gun 5

This pistol, unofficially known as the LAPD 2019 Blaster, the M2019 Blaster or the Steyr Pflager Katsumata Series-D Blaster, is the signature weapon of Rick Deckard (and presumably the LAPD in general). As for its placing on the list, it gets high marks for its unique, interesting appearance, so much so that accurate replicas and reproductions can sell for hundreds of dollars. However, it does suffer from firing cartridges, which is odd, considering how it’s almost universally referred to as a “blaster“. I’ll get into this in more detail later, but suffice to say that this makes the gun somewhat impractical, compared to other entries on the list.

4: Moses Brothers Self-Defense Engine Frontier Model B (Firefly)
Gun 4

We move from a gun where nobody seems able to agree on an official name, to a gun with a name nobody can be bothered to remember, with most just calling it “Mal’s Gun“. Seeing as Firefly was pretty much a space western, it’s not surprising that a custom made weapon for the show would be similar to an old west revolver. And seeing as I am a big fan of old west weapons, it’s equally unsurprising that this should inch ahead of the LAPD Blaster. Of course, it suffers from the same problem, being loaded with cartridges, which prevents it from climbing higher.

3: DL-44 Heavy Blaster (Star Wars)
Gun 3

Interestingly, another weapon used by Harrison Ford on the silver screen. The DL-44 carried by Han Solo is on of the most iconic handguns of the entire genre. Its easily recognizable silhouette is a result of it being based on the Mauser C96, also known as the ”Broomhandle Mauser”. And unlike the previous entries on this list, this is a genuine blaster, in that it fires energy projectiles (in this case plasma) rather than bullets. This means that shots fired from it are, if not outright unaffected, at least far less impaired by gravity, cross winds or drag than bullets fired from a normal handgun. For all intents and purposes, they keep going until they hit an obstacle or they dissipate. This makes them more accurate, with the only drawback probably being that they are slower. This, coupled with the rugged style, lands the DL-44 on third place.

2: A180 Blaster Pistol (Star Wars)
Gun 2

Another weapon from the Star Wars franchise, this time the A180 Blaster Pistol from the spinoff/prequel/sidequel Rogue One. Keen-eyed readers will notice that, much like the previous entry, it is based on a german handgun. In this case, it’s the Luger P08. The A180 is a less powerful blaster, compared to the DL-44, but is more compact as a result, while shots fired retain the same positives. All this, and the horribly unfair fact that I prefer the Luger over the Mauser C96 on a simply aesthetic level, means that it snatches the second place on the list.

Now, before we reach the #1 spot, let’s look at a few honorable mentions, handguns that I’d like to spotlight, but which didn’t quite make the list, for one reason or another.

Westar-34 Blaster Pistol (Star Wars)
OM 1

Carried by Jango Fett, these pistols, despite a uniqe look, simply never caught my interest in the same way the other entries did. They also seem an odd choice for a famed bounty hunter. I guess it makes sense that, despite his flaws, his son Boba Fett at least had the good sense to switch to a rifle.

The Samaritan (Hellboy)
OM 2

An incredibly impressive looking handgun, but it did not make the list for three reasons. Firstly, it’s too big for anyone other than Hellboy to use. Second, it only holds four bullets, which is a bit impractical. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, while there are a few sci-fi elements, Hellboy doesn’t really count as Science Fiction…

(But really, when else will I get a chance to talk about it?)

Zat’nik’tel (Stargate SG-1)
OM 5.png

This is a handy-dandy, if rather unattractive little piece. It can stun, it can kill, and it can disintegrate enemies. However, from an aesthetic point of view, it’s very much hit and miss for me. It just never impressed me enough to consider it for a place on the list, I’m sorry to say. That said, I know for a fact others like it, so it deserves at least a mention among the others.

Noisy Cricket (Men in Black)
OM 3.jpg

This unassuming little thing is perhaps the antithesis of the first spot. Not so much impressive as odd looking, the noisy cricket is powerful enough to blow up… pretty much anything you aim it at. The downside is that it’s so powerful, it launches the shooter backwards at high velocity. This makes it, to put it simply, effectively useless.

Phaser (Star Trek)
OM 4

One of the granddaddies of sci fi weapons, this is essentially the swiss army knife of the genre. It can stun, it can kill, it can blow stuff up or even be made into a makeshift bomb. So why is it not on the list, you may wonder?

Well, just LOOK at it. It’s absolutely hideous. It doesn’t matter which version you pick. They may get plenty of bonus points for practicality, but the fact remains… it’s a tool. No care or concern or passion has gone into their design. Function over fashion, which disqualifies them from this list.

So, with the honorable mentions and snark out of the way, let’s get to the first spot.

1: Particle Magnum (Stargate Atlantis)
Gun 1

This gun, carried by Ronon Dex, who we have discussed once before, is resting at the number 1 spot for a very simple reason: This is what happens when Mal’s gun fucks a phaser. It has a stun setting, a kill setting, a blow-stuff-the-fuck-up setting… Even that impromptu mine aspect could probably be done by overloading the energy cell. Speaking of, according to concept art, the energy cell is rechargeable, though the method isn’t made clear.

But what it has over the phaser is its appearance. It looks great! Its design brings to mind an old black powder revolver, specifically the colt 1860 Army. And like I said earlier: I’ve a soft spot for old west weaponry.

Practicality and style. Both criteria, and the Particle Magnum aces both of them. I think Teal’c said it best about the gun.

I would very much like to have a weapon such as this!

So those are my personal picks when it comes to Sci-Fi handguns. Like I said, you are free to disagree with my picks, and I would love to hear of your handguns of choice, and the arguments for why you prefer them.

In Memoriam: Carrie Fisher

Todays planned article has been suspended, in light of the recent passing of the great Carrie Fisher.

Now, there’s really nothing I can say about either her career or her life that has not been said by other, far more eloquent and knowledgable people. However, I would like to pay my respects, with a little anecdote from my youth.

When I was very young, around 4 or 5 years old, my mother managed a movie theater. During the weekends, my brothers and I would visit the theater, generally running around and being stupid.

One day, my mother, in an attempt to get some peace and quiet so she could work, gave us each a bowl of popcorn, stuck us in an empty theater and started a movie they’d only recently received for screenings.

The movie in question was the special edition of Star Wars Ep. IV

To this day it remains one of my most cherished memories, five years old, sitting in a private screening of A New Hope, along with my brothers.

Whenever I thought about Carrie Fisher, that memory would instantly spring to mind, and with her death, a big part of my childhood is gone.

I know that I am not alone in feeling like this and that I am certainly not the one most affected by her passing, but all the same, I am sad that she is gone, and my sympathies go out to her friends and family.

She will be missed.

Carrie.jpg
1956-2016

In Pace Requiscat

TaleSpin

As I’ve mentioned before, I grew up during the Disney Renaissance, and as a result, Disney was a big part of my childhood. Obviously, this love for Disney wasn’t just limited to the movies, but many of the TV shows that were produced in the 90s. And today, I’d like to talk a bit about one of those beloved shows.

TaleSpin

In case you are unfamiliar with the show (in which case you’d better be about 40 years old, or I weep for your childhood) the show features Baloo from The Jungle Book, as the pilot for “Higher for Hire” an air freight business in the fictional city of Cape Suzette. The show itself is centred around the adventures of Baloo, his boss Rebecca Cunningham, his navigator/protégé Kit, as well as Rebecca’s daughter Molly and the mechanic Wildcat.

From The Jungle Book, along with Baloo, the show features Louie as the owner of a motel and nightclub, and Shere Khan as a shady, ruthless businessman (and voiced by Tony Jay, who voiced the terrifyingly dark Frollo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame).

Now, I really enjoyed the show in my carefree youth. So why am I writing about it now? Am I about to point out logical flaws in it, in some deranged bid to destroy my own childhood, along with countless others?

No, of course not. I’m pedantic and nitpicky, but I’m not evil. I’m just going to talk about one, somewhat confusing detail about it, which occurred to me as I was reflecting on the show.

And that detail is this: Why wasn’t Bagheera in the show?

It just seems strange to me not to have him appear. After all, in The Jungle Book, Bagheera and Baloo not only shared the spot of deuteragonist, but also served as character foils to one another. Where Bagheera was stoic and serious, Baloo was happy and carefree.

Maybe this is just me, but surely, such a dynamic would be easy to carry over to a tv-show?

I grant you, some of the personality conflicts between Rebecca and Baloo does present them as foils for one another at times, but I think adding Bagheera to the story would have been a really good move.

Here, let me brainstorm for a bit. Suppose, for a moment, that Bagheera was put in the show, as a business man. Perhaps as a rival to Shere Khan, reluctantly having to employ Higher for Hire to counter Shere Khans more ruthless methods, despite his frustration with Baloo. From there, you can have a friendly conflict of character between Baloo and Bagheera, as well as an interesting professional relationship between him and Rebecca, both being professional business people.

From a character standpoint, Baloo is portrayed as lazy and impulsive, whereas Bagheera, by contrast, would be serious, cynical and more level-headed. And perhaps, it could be revealed that Bagheera has past experience as a cargopilot. That way, you’d have his frustration and disdain being due of Baloo’s more lax attitude towards a job Bagheera has respect and fond memories of, while in still managing to be an excellent pilot.

Now, I’m not saying that Bagheera should have been a main character in the show. But a recurring spot, like Louie, would have been nice.

And really, considering their role regarding Mowgli in the movie, his dynamic with Kit could follow a similar course.

With that, you’d have a setup for character development for Baloo, Bagheera, Kit and Rebecca. With just that premise, you’d have at least three ideas for episodes! Or rather, they would, if they’d gone that route.

So why didn’t that happen?

Now, like I said, I enjoyed the show despite this. And I’m not alone in this, of course. But still, it just seems so strange, when they added both Louie and Shere Khan to the show, to not add Bagheera and take advantage of that potential, all those stories they could have told, and just leave that avenue unexplored.

Not to mention that, by doing so, they essentially robbed us of the possibility of Bagheera crossed with Howard Hughes!

 

aviator
Look what you denied us, you bastards!

The Science Fiction Badass Scale

Today, I’d like to do something a little different. I’d like to present something that, at the very least, I find interesting.

I’m a big fan of science fiction, as you might know if you’ve followed my blog for any amount of time. And having followed a lot of science fiction, I have of course come across a plethora of badasses. You know, the big, tough as nails bastards that you don’t want to fuck with.

And so, I’d like to present a little project I’ve been working on.

The Science Fiction Badass Scale

As the name suggests, this is not a top list of badass characters, as such. This is more an escalating degree of badassery, with iconic science fiction characters to mark milestones and provide examples of the degrees. (Keep in mind, these are based on my own observations, and though I do provide justifications for my choices, you are free to disagree.)

So, without any further ado, let’s start at the very bottom.

0.0: The Anti-Badass

Binks
Jar-Jar Binks

A zero on the badass scale is someone who is pretty much the antithesis of a badass. As an example, Jar-Jar Binks (Star Wars: Episode I) is a clumsy, whiny coward who causes trouble for everyone around him. He’s the comic relief that manages to not be funny and is among the most universally hated characters of the entire genre.

0.1-0.9: The Almost Badass

Fett 1
Boba Fett & Jango Fett

A character that falls between 0.0 and 1.0 is a character who is, at best, someone we are told is a badass, but without doing anything to really justify the title. Boba Fett (Star Wars: Episode V) is renowned as the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy. However, in the movie where he plays a major part, his contribution is limited to pretty much just making a phone call to Darth Vader. Beyond that, nothing he does is particularly badass. Not even his supposed banter with Vader applies, since all he does is complain. This leads to Boba Fett resting neatly at a 0.6 on the scale.

Meanwhile, his father Jango Fett (Star Wars: Episode II) earns a slightly more respectable 0.7 for actually DOING something badass in his movie. He does, however commit several idiotic mistakes, such as using a highly traceable dart that leads his enemies right to him, as well as going up against Mace Windu in close combat. All of these not only results in his death, but means he too fails to graduate to the higher levels of badassery.

1.0: The Token Badass

Worf
Lt. Worf

A token badass is a character who we are often shown to be strong and tough, often the muscle in a group… only for them to be routinely thrown around and beaten by enemies to illustrate the seriousness of the situation. And frankly, there is no better character to exemplify this than Lt. Worf (Star Trek TNG), head of security on the Enterprise D.

Whenever they needed to make an alien look strong, Worf would be thrown on his ass by said alien. Of course, the downside of this is that, since it happened so often, it diminished Worf’s supposed badassery.

You might say he ended up being a Sheep in Worf clothing!

ok, yeah, That joke was beneath me. I apologize.

2.0: The Confirmed Badass

Vader
      Darth Vader 

This is your entry level, proper badass. Someone we’re shown to be badass and menacing. They’re there to be a scary, more effective version of a Token Badass, in that we see WHY they’re badass, and when they’re defeated, it’s a genuine big deal. However, as exemplified with Darth Vader (Star Wars: Episode IV, V & VI), he is, fundamentally, the second in command. Beyond the black mask, sinister breathing and red lightsaber, Vader is essentially just a henchman for the main villain of the movie, be it Tarkin or, later on, the Emperor.

3.0: The Standard Badass

Mal.jpg
    Captain Malcolm Reynolds

At 3.0, you have your garden variety badass. A character that laughs in the face of fear, not backing down from a fight and kicking ass despite not having any amazing powers. Malcolm Reynolds (Firefly) fit that description to a T. He’s to all intents and purposes a normal guy, a bit bitter about stuff in his past, but fundamentally a tough guy who’s not above kicking ass if needs be. Not to mention that, if you fuck with him or his friends, you can bet your ass he will make you pay.

4.0: The Advanced Badass

Ronon
                             Ronon Dex                            

This is a character that, for better or worse, all but perfects what a token badass should be. They have the skill, the experience and the drive to do what they think is necessary. They’re not unkillable, but they are pretty much unbreakable. Ronon Dex (Stargate Atlantis), for example, was a former military officer that was captured, tagged and hunted for sport by an insanely sadistic alien race. He became a “runner”, and managed to survive as one for 7 years, simply because he was tougher than the aliens hunting him. Add to that, he’s an expert martial artist, excellent tracker and skilled marksman, and you’ve got a firm understanding of why he defines 4.0 on the scale.

5:0: The Elite Badass

Riddick
    Richard B. Riddick

This is it. The last tier. You don’t get more badass than this, without being a demigod (or the sci fi equivalent). This is someone that takes everything about the advanced badass and turns it up to 11. Where a standard badass looks into the face of danger and laughs, an elite badass stares in the face of danger… until they make it blink. I can think of nobody that personifies this better than Riddick (The Chronicles of Riddick), a man who is effectively lethal with everything and anything, from chains to knives to a fucking soup cup, and has defeated legions of bounty hunters, escaped from multiple maximum security prisons, killed an ascended despotic demagogue and survived being stranded on a planet with merciless alien monsters… twice.

Intelligence, instinct, skill and tenacity. This type of character combines all of those into someone you may want on your side, but who you absolutely, under no circumstances, want as an enemy.

(Of course, an honorary mention is the Doom Marine, but his inclusion is somewhat unfair in regards to this scale.  With him, we’re dealing with a guy that hell itself fears. If anyone can claim to be the sci-fi equivalent of a demigod, it’s this guy. As such, he transcends this scale and exists outside it.)

Anyway, that’s the entire scale of badassery, from the Anti-Badass to the final realization of the concept. I hope you enjoyed it, and I strongly encourage you to expand on it and to argue, debate and discuss about where your favourites fit.

Enjoy.

Harry Potter

Well, it seems my survival instinct has finally yielded to my urge to nitpick something people love. With that in mind, I’d like to discuss an issue I have with Harry Potter. Not just the movies, but the books as well.

Dave: Man, do I have a good theory for you today!

Wait, Dave. We’re not doing fan theories today.

Dave: But… it’s Harry Potter. That usually means we’re covering theories.

I know, but in this instance, I’m discussing an issue with the story, nothing else.

Dave: Oh… but I found a really good theory!

I don’t care! I’ve got more important things to talk about right now.

Dave: Come on! Look, the theory is that Dumbledore made a Horcrux, and-

Right!

A Horcrux is made specifically to prevent you from dying. Dumbledore died, in an attempt to let the elder wands power die with him, since it’d mean he was not defeated, but euthanized by Snape. If Dumbledore had a Horcrux, that plan would have been a complete waste of time from the start since Snape would be unable to kill him.

So no, Dumbledore did not have a Horcrux. Happy now?

Dave: Well, I-

Good! Now fuck off!

Anyway, as I was about to say, today’s article concerns love potions. They are mentioned from time to time in the books, most prominently in the sixth book, where Ron Weasley accidentally falls under the influence of one intended for Harry.

You read it, you chuckle a bit at how silly Ron acts, and then get on with the story.

I glossed over this in my first article about Harry Potter fan theories, but this time, let’s go into more detail on the subject. Now, my issue is quite simple:

HOW THE FLYING FUCK ARE LOVE POTIONS LEGAL?!

Now, at the face of it, this may seem like a strange question. But let’s look at it a bit closer.

What’s the purpose of a love potion? To answer that, let’s look at what a love potion actually does.

A love potion induces a state of euphoric adoration and obsession with a particular individual in whoever drinks it, bordering on monomaniacal and fanatical worship.

With that in mind, what is then the practical use of a love potion? Because remember, you don’t just give someone a love potion, and that’s it. It’s not an end in itself. It’s a means of reaching some other goal. Now ask yourself, what might that goal be?

What situation would prompt someone to use a love potion?

Well, let’s say you find someone you like quite a lot, but they’re not interested in you. So you sneak a love potion into their food or drink, and suddenly they warm up to you, becoming very friendly. Actually, they’re not just friendly. They are suddenly worshipping the air your breathe and the ground you walk.

They’re not just compliant. As far as they’re concerned, making you happy is now the purpose of their existence.

Anything you want to do, they will allow, as long as you make it clear that doing it would make you happy.

It allows you to take advantage of someone, by making them incapable of objecting to any request you make, effectively eliminating their ability to give informed and concious consent. This is literally what a love potion does. It is the only thing it can be used for.

Sounds eerily familiar, doesn’t it?

That might be because what I’ve just described is also the text book definition of drug facilitated sexual assault. 

Still think Ron being subjected to one is funny? If so, think about this: What if it was Hermione instead?

Let’s not be naïve here. Using a love potion is not so much part of a slippery slope, so much as it’s a sheer drop off the moral cliff into the abyss of fucking depravity.

But despite this, love potions are not illegal. They are mentioned as “Dangerous” and being forbidden at Hogwarts. That’s it.

They are banned at a school. Not illegal. Banned. In other words, on par with broomsticks for first year students.

Now, remember Romilda Vane, the girl who gave the spiked chocolates to Harry?

As far as the books are concerned, she faced no consequenses or punishment for this. If she did, it wasn’t very severe. Detention, maybe? Losing house points?

You know, instead of what SHOULD happen. As in expulsion, arrest, trial and possibly even a sentence to a small cell in Azkaban!

Of course, you may think this sounds a bit extreme. Sending someone to Azkaban for using a love potion is surely overreacting?

To which I say: No, it does NOT sound extreme. She SHOULD be running the risk of being sent to Azkaban. You wanna know why?

Because, even if we suppose that using a love potion does not mean the next step is automatically rape (Even though it’s clear to anyone that there is no other practial use for them) using a love potion is an inherently immoral and horrible thing to do to someone.

Don’t believe me? Let’s recap what love potions do.

Magically impairing someones ability to make rational decisions, instead adoring you to the point where they want nothing but to obey your commands.

Again, sound familiar? There’s something else in the Wizarding World that has that ability. Remember what it is?

The fucking Imperius Curse! You know, the curse that turns anyone you use it on into your slavish puppet!

A curse that is grouped together with two other curses, the Cruciatus Curse and Avada Kedavra, curses that torture and KILL, respectively. Collectively, they are known as the UNFORGIVABLE CURSES!

And what was the punishment for those, again?

The use of any one of them on a fellow human being is enough to earn a life sentence in Azkaban.

Tell me, what exactly is the difference between the Imperius curse and a love potion?!

The main, and as far as I can tell ONLY difference: love potions are openly for sale.

Going back to Romilda, you know where she got her love potion? She bought it from Fred and George. Fred and George owned a joke shop.

Not a dark, dimly lit cellar in Knockturn Alley. A fucking JOKE SHOP! Not only that, but they had a wide range of them!

Let’s be clear here. Using a love potion does not fall under “practical joke”. It’s the act of someone lacking a fundamental understanding of empathy or respect for other people and their basic human rights.

And when the potion wears off, their victims are not going to be “embarrassed over what they did“. They’re going to be fucking traumatized, and rightly so!

But hey, I suppose it’s different when it’s a potion and not a spell, right?

And in case you think that maybe there are limits to what you can force someone to do with love potions, let me remind you that Merope Gaunt used a love potion to (and there is not other word for it) enslave Tom Riddle Sr. and during that time, she became pregnant.

In other words, Voldemort was created by rape. In fact, J.K Rowling has even suggested part of the reason Voldemort lacks any kind of empathy, love or remorse is because he was conceived by coercion, not love.

And while Merope did stop drugging Tom Riddle, it wasn’t out of guilt or remorse, but hope that now having knocked her up, he would stick around out of obligation and duty.

Unsurprisingly, the moment the love potion wore off, he fucking ran away!

Because of course he did! What she did was about as fucking wrong as is humanly possible!

All of this brings me back to my original question.

How the fuck are love potions legal?!

There’s no sane reason for that! It’s not like them being illegal would change anything in the story, apart from Romilda being expelled and possibly sent to Azkaban. And if you don’t want Romilda to be expelled, here’s an idea.

Don’t make her an attemptive rapist, and maybe I’ll have some sympathy!

Love potions shouldn’t be something you buy from a shop, for a practical joke! They shouldn’t be considered on par with a fucking broomstick. They should be among the most illegal and controlled substances known to man, on account of them having the singular purpose to HELP YOU RAPE SOMEONE!

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for the time being.

Now, some people are complaining about how Hermione and Harry should have ended up together, and how the books might be rewritten to accommodate that.

Personally, if Rowling does the unlikely thing and rewrites the books, I don’t care if Ron, Hermione and Harry enter a three way civil union, as long as love potions are made illegal at the same time!

Firefly

Ok, so todays subject is the Sci-Fi show Firefly.

Now, before you all start hacking my blog, scour my contact info and plan my bloody, painful death, there are two things I should explain.

First of all, I like the show! I admit, it’s not my favourite, being more of a fan of Stargate SG-1, but I have nothing against Firefly at all. The characters are rounded and well written, the writing is solid and the show mixes two things I like a lot, namely Science Fiction and old west weaponry.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I’m not going to nitpick the show itself. As far as I can tell, there are no major question marks for the show itself, in regards to logic.

No, I have only two issues when it comes to Firefly, neither of which have anything to do with writing.

My first issue is that, for years now, I’ve heard discussions and arguing, when it comes to the shows cancellation, with people asking to bring the show back.

To them I say this.

Stop it. Seriously, just stop it. Stop trying to bring the show back.

And don’t get me wrong. I get it. The show was cancelled. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t a good decision and it robbed us of an intruiging and well made story. I completely understand why people are upset about it.

But you know what? It’s been 13 years since the show was cancelled. Let it go. The cancellation was a travesty, but it’s too late to do anything about it now.

You don’t believe me? Here’s a little experiment. If you’re one of the people demanding they bring it back, let’s suppose that you got your wish. Let’s say that tomorrow, they made the decision to finally continue the show.

But then, how do you deal with the fact that so much time has passed?

There are of course many answer to that, but I don’t think any of them is very attractive. You could ignore the time difference and just pick it up where the show ended. But it’s going to be pretty obvious the actors are suddenly much older. It’s going to be a constant elephant in the room.

I suppose you could make it animated, but then you’d go from live action first season to animated second season, which obviously doesn’t work.

You could reboot it, but animated or not, that would just invalidate season one, and people would be angry.

Of course, there’s the option to set it ten years later, but seeing as people want the show back because so many storylines were left unfinished, that means you’d need to have those resolved in the interrim, meaning you may as well have rebooted the show.

However you look at this, bringing back the tv-show isn’t an option anymore, so just let it go. Let it rest in peace.

Now, my second issue when it comes to Firefly can be summed up thusly:

Why is the show named Firefly?

Don’t get me wrong. As names go, it’s a pretty nice one. But in regards to the show itself, that name makes no sense at all.

You know what the name is referring to?

The model of ship they’re flying.

In other words, naming this show Firefly is like calling the original Star Wars trilogy Corellian YT-1300 IV-VI, or calling Knight Rider Trans Am. Say what you want about the movie Serenity, but at least that name makes sense, since that’s the name of the ship!

Not to mention the theme to the show is called “Ballad to Serenity“!

I mean, look at Joss Whedon’s other works.

Angel: named after the main character.
Buffy: named after the main character.
The Avengers: named after the group of main character.

Next to that, the name Firefly is, if you pardon my plain speaking, stupid!

But then, I suppose that might explain something about the shows premature cancellation…

So let that be a lesson for you. If you’re making a show, and want it to have a long and succesful life, name it after an immortal celestial being or a woman in her early 20’s, and NOT after an insect that will be dead in two months…