WTFAW: How I Met Your Mother

Aah, what a lovely day. I might spend this particular evening watching a movie, or maybe play a game. Maybe I’ll watch a few episodes of M*A*S*H, or I could watch some DS9, or-

Dave: Hi!

Aw, shitballs…

Dave: I have a theory about How I Met Your Mother!

Great… Well, no point delaying it. Let’s get this over with…

Dave: Robin is a transsexual!

Let me think about this… No, she isn’t.

Dave: No, come on! Just hear me out on this! Think about it! She can’t have children, her father raised her like a boy, she was part of a hockey team where all the other members were guys and her second name is “Charles”. It all adds up! I defy you to contradict those arguments!

I can’t.

Dave: But what abo- wait, what?

You’re absolutely right. All of your arguments are true. I cannot disagree with a single one of them

Dave: What? Seriously!? You mean I win? I actually, finally got a good theory!? This is the greatest day of my life! I’m so happy.

However….

Dave: Aw, crap…

You have, yet again, forgotten a couple of very important details.

You see, the reason her father raised her like a boy is because he always WANTED a boy. And when he got a girl, he decided to try and work around that by flat out ignoring that she IS a girl! That is the reason she was in an all male hockey team, why her father was outraged about her falling in love with another player and why her second name is Charles, while her first name is the more androgynous “Robin”.

And then there’s the part where you need to be of legal age to go through a sex change, and we KNOW Robin was a female pop idol in her teens!

Dave: Well, she could’ve gone through hormone treatment! You can do that with a parents consent.

Oh, you mean the same parent that wanted her desperately to be a boy? The parent behind the aforementioned attempts to make her a boy?

Dave: But what about the fact she can’t have children! If she’s a transsexual, it makes perfect sense!

Yes, because a woman being naturally infertile is completely impossible, right? There’s no way that could happen. I mean, if it did, that would mean that argument might be considered horribly offensive to those women, wouldn’t it?

Dave: uhm…

And then there’s the small issue of how Robin reacted to being told she wasn’t able to become pregnant. Do you remember what happened?

Dave: Well, She moped a bit and-

Moped?! She became depressed, lashed out at her friends and sat down on a park bench and had a imaginary talk to the children she would never have! That is not called “moping”! That’s called “HAVING A FUCKING BREAKDOWN”!

Tell me, doesn’t that seem a bit odd, considering she is supposedly a transsexual?

Now, I don’t fancy myself an expert on the details about having a sex change, but you know what? Call me a bluff old naïve fool, but I’m pretty sure you’re told one or two details!

I know next to nothing about canadian healthcare, but I’m pretty sure doctors don’t just make the change and then let you go out to explore the specifics for yourself! Having a sex change is kind of a big decision to make! There are very few doctors who have a “Cross that bridge when we get to it” approach to this kind of thing! Especially to fairly important details like “Will I have a fucking womb!.

I’m sorry if I’m offending anyone here. I’m just saying that medicine can only do so much. Again, correct me if I’m wrong, but there are some things about the human anatomy no amount of hormones or surgery on earth can change.

Not yet, anyway.

Not to mention Robin is portrayed as a very intelligent woman! If she really was a transsexual, and assuming (wrongly) that the doctors never told her about the details, you mean to tell me she never put it together herself?

In other words, Dave, you’re confusing Robin Sherbatsky with Mr. Garrison!

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