Assassin’s Creed IV (Again)

I’m going to mention a few more problems with Assassin’s Creed IV, but please understand that I don’t do it because I think it’s a bad game by any standard.

The reason these small things bug me is that the rest of the game is so good. They put so much effort into the details of the game, that these small details that I get annoyed about stand out so much.

And the reason I am writing about it is because if I don’t, I will keep turning it over in my head forever, getting annoyed. But once I’ve written it down I can stop thinking about it. Of course, that doesn’t stop me from feeling like an asshole for pointing out flaws in this great game.

Let’s get this over with quickly, shall we?

First off, I want to talk about the outfits.

The Assassin’s Creed-series have, since the second game, featured different outfits and skins. Be it just different coloured clothing, or a completely new skin, you have the option of varying your appearance to a degree.

Assassin’s Creed IV is no exception, and you have a wide array of different coloured outfits and unique clothing to choose from.

Among the special outfits you can unlock, by fulfilling special criteria, you can find Altair’ outfit, Ezios outfit and Connors outfit. All well and good.

However…

Then there’s the outfit called “Haytham Kenway’s Overcoat”.

To unlock this, you need to buy a toy of Haytham Kenway that includes a code which, when redeemed, unlocks the outfit.

Seems reasonable enough. What is the problem?

I’ll show you. And to this end, I will do something I’ve never done before, and use a picture to illustrate a point.

Here is a picture of Haytham Kenway, as seen in Assassin’s Creed III.

  Note the overcoat.

Beautiful. Aristocratic. Classy. Truly an overcoat befitting the ever pragmatic and charismatic Haytham Kenway.

Here’s the outfit in Assassin’s Creed IV.

What the fuck is this?!

That’s not the overcoat Haytham wears! It’s not even close! It’s just the basic outfit but coloured red and blue! What the hell?! You made every other character specific outfit look like the original! Why not this one!?

You can’t even argue that Haytham made alterations to it, since it’s a completely different length and design! And I wouldn’t be so annoyed by this, if they didn’t call it “Haytham Kenway’s Overcoat”. If you promise people a special coat and charge money to unlock it, don’t try to screw us with a palette swap! Give us the fucking coat!

GAH!

Ok, Let’s change the subject before I have an aneurysm….

I’d like to talk some more about the sword fighting in the game.

Last time, I mentioned that Edward fighting with two swords was stupid, and I stand by that statement. I just don’t understand why they felt like giving him two swords, when he’s pretty much the last person in the Assassin’s Creed-series who should have two swords.

As it turns out, it makes even less sense than I initially thought, since the game comes complete with a set of animations for Edward fighting with just one sword.

All you have to do is, while unarmed, disarm an enemy. Edward will then take their sword and fight with just one.

So why does he use two swords?! How much time and money did they put down into fighting with two swords instead of one, which they could have put somewhere else?

Had they left out the part with fighting with two swords, do you know how many would have complained?

NOBODY!

Granted, not many are complaining about him having two swords, but a pedantic weirdo on an obscure blog on the internet is still more than “nobody”.

I know what you are thinking. “It’s a game. It’s fiction. It doesn’t have to make sense”.

And you are right! I know it’s fiction! I know Edward Kenway isn’t real! But by the logic of this game, we’re supposed to assume he was real. In the context of this game series, he really did exist, so is it so much to ask to want him to act like a rational human being? Again, nobody would go around wielding two swords in the real world, because it’s stupid!

But if they absolutely HAD to have him use two swords, because they put so much effort into it, I can give you a very simple and elegant solution: Have Edward using only one sword, and when he disarms someone while carrying one sword, he takes the other sword and fights with two! And when the battle is over, he drops the second sword.

There! Job done!

That’d make sense on several different levels. You’d get to use all your pretty animations. Using two swords becomes much cooler, since it’s something you have to achieve, instead of something given to you at the start of the game. You’d get the pirate-style scavenging feeling, since the swords won’t match. That in turn would make Edward seem more badass, since he’s proficient with two swords, even if said swords do not match. And it makes all the special swords you can get in the game, like the aforementioned “Captain Drakes Swords” or the “Matching Golden Swords” unique, since there’s only one of them.

That’s all I’ve got.

Other than that, and the other complaints I’ve mentioned, the game is pretty much spotless. It’s just those minor details that, because the game is so good, I feel I have to point out. Any other complaints are either small enough for me to ignore or issues I can rationalize and justify.

Still, I feel really guilty, criticising this great game…. Maybe if I destroy a few Frigates, steal their cargo and spend the money on rum, I’ll feel like less of an asshole…

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